Thursday, July 31, 2008
Daily Bread is no longer. But now it is new, and better. Wes has decided he wants to start blogging. And what's more, he's going to do it here. So, faithful few, be prepared for thoughts from a 3rd year medical student about being a doctor, working a ton, and a more well-rounded Henricksen perspective. Welcome Wes!
This article has been promoting some thought-provoking discussions around our house lately. I'd be interested to know what any of you (if there are any of you :) think.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I still haven't decided whether to keep the blog (or at least whether to keep it public), but I have stuff to say. So for now, it stays too.
Wes started his 3rd year of medical school today. Let it suffice to say the next 4 months (notice I didn't say 'year'--this is a good thing) are going to be pretty awful around here. Two months of internal medicine, and then on to surgery.
Needless to say I couldn't sleep last night, in large part because it feels to me like we had a couple months of 'not great' 6 weeks of 'absolutely terrible' and just finished a month of 'fantastic!' What was the key factor? TIME. That's all we really need, and yet, in the months to come, it will once again be in scarce supply.
I wrote a frantic letter to my best college girlfriends last night, "Help! I'm despairing!" was the gist of it. I hate that I sound like a broken record, but I do have some incredible latent fears about what the future holds. Wes and I are committed to sharing life--sharing parenting, cooking, cleaning, friends, church. Marriage is a commitment to share in common life, and we want to do just that. But each of our career ambitions pose challenges to that vision. Wes is more committed to making shared life possible than I've ever seen him. I'm guessing that months like the last one (though very idealistic when compared to actual life which doesn't usually involve 2 week vacations, a weekend on the coast, and the amount of free time Wes has had the last two weeks) make us remember why that vision is so important, and remind us why we want it.
Wes is looking for ways to 'push back against the institution' as we've been calling it. Medical schools are pretty sure they own people's lives, and that every decision a med student makes will be determined by how successful a doctor it makes him or her. And to Medical School, we shake our fists and say, 'not so!'
Because so much of my anxiety about our future is wrapped up in this thing called domesticity, Wes is thinking about how he can contribute more around the house. Up until now, I've pretty much done all the work around the house--cooking, cleaning, shopping, paying bills, etc.--at least during the really, really busy times (like the last 6 months). I've done this hoping that if all that stuff was done, Wes and I would have more time just to be together. But it does end up backfiring sometimes because I get pretty resentful about doing all that work, making the time we do get together, ummm, not as nice. As crazy as it sounds, Wes cleaning the bathroom or cooking twice a week makes me feel exponentially better about our life together, and my life in general. If I see him making those contributions now, I don't worry that he'll forget to make them later in life, and that I'll be the one exclusively stuck with late night baby feedings, and other kid-related duties. I guess I'm actually quite easy to please.
But in the spirit of trying to make these next 4 difficult months a new beginning rather than a return to the yuckiness of the last several, I'm going to try and embrace this time in the following ways:
1. I have noticed that I have been less productive with Wes around. This has been great because I've gotten to hang out with him (which is more important than productivity). But I am missing my work-out routine, reading books, etc. I hope for the rest of the summer, at least, to return to those routines.
2. Girl friends are great. And I get to see them more when Wes is busy. I will look forward to catching up by the pool with Lauren, sharing a bottle of wine and great conversation with Becca, and watching movies with Stephanie. In fact, the first girls night is already planned.
3. Work. While work has been delightfully flexible and low-key this summer, it is going to pick up very soon. And with it comes a lot more responsibility, and a lot more hours. September and October will be crazy with work. And I am glad I'll have the freedom to do my job well, without worrying that I'm letting Wes down.
4. School. Need I say more? Fall will be busy for me too. And it's a privilege to be able to structure my own studying time and commit the necessary hours my studies require.
These four things will take daily commitment not to do them necessarily, but to remember that I am able to do them well largely because I have a busy husband. They are lessons in attitude adjustment and attempts to embrace a difficult time, but one that comes with the advantages more independence brings.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
We're back from the McSparran wedding in Denver, 2 week vacation in Alaska and a weekend on the GA coast. Blogging has been scarce the last month (although I doubt it's disappointed my tens of readers :) I'm actually trying to decide if I want to continue blogging or not. I think it's been a good outlet for me, but at times I wonder if it acts as a substitute for actual, person-to-person contact. I know I write things I might hesitate to say to certain readers in person sometimes--is that good or bad?
