Thursday, October 9, 2008
This week has been absolutely crazy. Not overly busy, but incredibly stressful. I had an exam on Tuesday, I'm teaching Sunday School on Sunday, and I've got two more reflections to write for our church's Advent devotional (and the readings for one of them is filled with judgment and God killing children--I'm not sure quite what to do with it!). On top of that, I've spent the last month trying to arrange transportation for all my volunteers who are traveling around Atlanta to volunteer. I finally found a taxi company to contract with, but every day there has been another disaster--volunteers are stranded out in Doraville with no clue where their taxi is, volunteers getting charged for their taxi when I've made it clear that our account should be charged instead. It's insane. And interfering with my school work, and with my general mental health!
While I wish I was back at our B & B on Amelia Island with a Corona in one hand and a good book in the other while dolphins go swimming by, there's no escaping school, work and everything else life throws at me for now. And I'm realizing I'm not the best at coping with these things! My perfectionism comes to a head and I find myself obsessing over 'getting it right' and feeling terrible when it doesn't. I have to fight the urge to constantly check up on everyone in my office and with those working in the taxi company. I hate being out of control.
What's more, having all these different things on my plate makes life feel really compartmentalized. I jump from class to work to the gym to homework to church work to trying to relax with Wes with hardly a moment's breath in between. My brain feels frazzled and pulled in a million directions. I feel tired and worn out from trying to be perfect and avoid mistakes. And I feel anxious when facing the fallout from my own mistakes or those of others.
So, I'm trying to breath. I'm trying to sit on the couch without music or tv or the email open or the phone.
Just sit. And breath. And pray. And relax.
Even if just for ten minutes in between these weird transitions my days bring.
