Morning Rounds and Evening Musings

With Lent approaching quickly, I have been doing some thinking about what I'd like to do as part of the season. Doing anything for Lent is a pretty new thing for me, and what I'm realizing is that I'm not sure I understand why it's important to do the things typically done in Lent. Wes and I haven't totally decided what we're doing yet, but we're getting close!

I spent part of the day Saturday at a Pre-Lenten quiet day retreat at my Church. Dr. Westerhoff led the retreat and framed Lent as did the early Church--preparation for baptism. Lent was the final period of catechesis (which literally means 'to echo' as in 'to echo the Word'=Jesus) before they were baptized at the Easter vigil. Therefore, Lent is not only the season leading up to Christ's crucifixion, death and resurrection, it's not just a way to identify with Jesus' sufferings or his 40 days in the desert, it's a time for renewing our own baptismal covenant. It's a season for evaluating how well we are doing at being Christian, not just being a Christian, but being Christian.

In the Episcopal Church, the baptismal covenant is as follows:

Do you renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces of wickedness that rebel against God?
Do you renounce the evil powers of this world which corrupt and destroy the creatures of God?
Do you renounce all sinful desires that draw you from the love of God?
Do you turn to Jesus Christ and accept him as your Savior?
Do you put your whole trust in his grace and love?
Do you promise to follow and obey him as your Lord?

Will you persevere in resisting evil, and, whenever you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord?
Will you proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ?
Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself?
Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?

A pretty tall order indeed! Know wonder we need to devote a special season to working on these things! I usually conceive of baptism as a sign or seal of God's promise to us--a promise to bring us into God's fold. But I rarely think of my baptism as an initiation into Christian living. In that mode, baptism is an ongoing process of making people more like Jesus.

We spent a lot of time yesterday meditating on the various spiritual disciplines of Lent, and trying to discern which of them were most appropriate for us this Lent. In other words, which of those promises I made all those years ago (or that my parent's made for me) would I like to focus on and which discipline will help me to do that?

Lent is so often conceived of as a penitential time to give something, anything up--so long as it makes you miserable so you can be more like Jesus. That's why I've never understood fasting. At the end of the day, I feel terrible, I have a headache, and I've come to realize how human I am and how crazy it is that I'm so dependent on food, oh if only I could be that dependent on Jesus. Well, I only need to do that once to learn that lesson, however good and true it might be. And I failed to see how me being cranky and miserable glorifies God.

Westerhoff said that fasting was traditionally done from sundown to sunset, the day before the Sabbath. You would go to church starving, and the Eucharistic meal would take on entirely new significance. Fasting should not deprive us of sugar or chocolate which we have longed to give up anyways because it's generally bad for us--we should give up something that is basic to our nourishment. That way, we can be nourished by that which we need most; in being deprived of what we need, we can receive something we need more. Perhaps that's part of the misunderstanding between me and fasting. I've never seen fasting as integral to what I do at church on Sunday. It might give new meaning to the Eucharistic Invitation: "The Gifts of God for the people of God, take them in remembrance that Christ died for you, and feed on him in your hearts by faith, with thanksgiving."

In reflecting on those promises that are supposed to reflect me as a new creation resulting from my baptism, the one I am choosing to focus on this Lent is, "Will you continue in the apostle's teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in the prayers?" A few years ago, I decided that doing 'devotions' every day was becoming a destructive legalistic practice that was creating for me an image of a God who was perpetually angry at me for my inconsistent devotional life. I couldn't approach God without guilt and remorse that I had failed to live up to what it meant to be a Christian. Of course, being a Christian means much more than daily bible study and prayer--and I've gotten better at those other things. Meanwhile, prayer has slipped away, and the Bible is more an object to be studied rather than a subject that engages me. I'd like to get back to prayer, back to the bible (hopefully without the same negative experience) and I hope that this Lent will help me to dwell with the 'apostles teaching' and 'the prayers.'

Eternal God, heavenly Father, you have graciously accepted us as living members of your Son our Savior Jesus Christ, and you have fed us with spiritual food in the Sacrament of his Body and Blood. Send us now into the world in peace, and grant us strength and courage to love and serve you with gladness and singleness of heart; through Christ our Lord. Amen